Iceberg straight ahead !

Vous priant de m’excuser pour mon faible anglais. Based on a true story.

  • - Oh my Dear, I’m so happy to meet you today!
  • - Oh the same for me. I was so excited to meet you tonight!
  • - I have important things to share with you. But first I propose you a drink, the weather is hot, you certainly are thirsty.
  • - Yes, I am, thank you, you are so kind.
  • - Take, my Darling, that glass of water.
  • - Ahah ! Oh. Ah. But. What ? You are kidding or it’s really only water ?
  • - Yes, it is.
  • - Are you kidding ? Who am I ? What am I for you ? A simple glass of water ?
  • - Yes, it is water but it is not what you think.
  • - You trouble me a lot, it is frustrating, I am so deceived !
  • - Actually, I traveled a lot. I took a bus, a train, a plane, another train, a taxi, a bike, I walked, I took a boat, then I found an iceberg. I put a part of that iceberg in a bottle then came back. It was a very hard travel.
  • - You don’t listen to me. How are you actually, who are you ? I am so troubled that you proposed me a fucking simple glass of water.
  • - Ok, I explain again. I traveled a lot, for thousands miles actually. It was a very hard travel. I was searching something pure to give you so I had that idea.
  • - What about are you talking ? I told you that you irritated me a lot and you are talking and talking.
  • - It was a lot of work to reach that pure water. I thought it was a good idea, that pure water representing the pure love I have for you.
  • - I am discouraged. You don’t understand. You talk and talk. It is not the humble way.
  • - It is because I think it is important that you understand.
  • - Oh no ! So all on your side ! No and no, it is not important.
  • - When we love someone, I think we want to understand his or her way of thinking. Probably I had to ask you why you feel so offended but I am sure you were clear so I just try to explain.
  • - No. No matter about explaination. It is not the humble way. The humble way is just shut up. The humble way is just saying « I am sorry ». Because you hurt me a lot.
  • - If I say I am sorry but with no explaination, after a time, I will be only throught your eyes the wrong intentionned man you can imagine I am. There is no reason to be troubled so I explain why. I have only good intention.
  • - You are continuing. I think that means you are very long to forgive. When was the last time you said « I am sorry » ?
  • - Maybe two days ago. Yes, two days ago.
  • - I think that cannot work between us. We cannot continue together.
  • - Why ?
  • - You offended me then you don’t want to choose the humble way. I cannot be with a man who is not able to say « I am sorry » after he offended me.
  • - I am sorry but you didn’t have to feel offended but my intention was only to show you my pure love. If it was not the good way, just help me to understand how that works please, don’t blame an innocent. I worked so hard to find the purest thing I could find on earth like a sign of my love for you.
  • - Oh you are continuing. You just defend yourself. You talk and only think of you, not of I !
  • - I think you are susceptible. Are you susceptible ?
  • What ? What ! You give me name ? You give me name !
  • - I thought « susceptible » neutral, I am sorry.
  • - You are very rude ! Good bye.

(dans l’histoire originale, remplacer l’eau d’iceberg par de l’antichenilles à base de bacillus thuringiensis. Bonne chance.)

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